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I’ve come up with some simple questions that should help you determine what exactly it is you need to know when looking to meet new girls.

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The Ballad of the Nice Guy (via Reddit)

Rockstar Seduction

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Dating on Plenty of Fish can be rewarding however you need to make an effort to post a good profile and some attractive pictures. Maybe someone has responded to your meet me request or maybe you’ve just found someone that you are attracted to. All you need to do is send that first message, sounds easy right?

Read their online dating profile carefully, what caught your attention most? Most guys overlook this completely if not partially. Use it to your advantage; do they have a weird sense of humor, into humanitarian causes? Do you both have that same weird obsession with toe nail clippings? It’s important to bring this up in your initial message.

Profile Example:

click to see larger

A good example of a compelling message would be something like this:

Title:  Surprise! It’s a message.

Body:  Hello.

I’m not exactly sure how I feel about a flight attendant that’s also an adrenaline junkie and likes a rush. It could definitely make for an interesting time on that flight. I think it’s awesome that you want to be a flight attendant though, I know a few and they are some of the funnest people I know.

You say you’re a fan of adventure, what makes an adventure for you?

What’s something that you’ve never done that you want to try?

I had you at the first word though, right? Haha

A message along these lines is something that is more likely to get a response than something like ‘hey, how’s it going’ or ‘you’re cute’. Discussion on what she finds adventurous or something that she’s never done before could lead into a fun, interesting date. By showing that you are interested in what she’s into she is going to be more likely to open up to you.

A well placed compliment can do wonders in the Plenty of Fish world, complimenting them on something that they have worked hard towards or put effort will make them feel that you appreciate their good points, and turn the tide in your favor when it comes to answering back.

While compliments are always nice, don’t focus on their appearance or other superficial things: if you message someone saying something along the lines of “You look fantastic, I think you are gorgeous!” they may be pleased, but if you fail to mention their Nobel Prize for saving blind dolphins, you will come across as every other guy who messages them and who is only interested in them for their looks. And that is a big turn-off.

Another great way to help get a reply is talking about an interest THEY have or in an interest that you share. This can create that ‘I’ve known you forever’ feeling in a shorter amount of time. It’s hard for me not to respond to a message that has something to do with the interested I have on my ridiculous online dating profile.

There are a few things you shouldn’t do when sending a message on plenty of Fish and how to avoid your message getting deleted without getting a response.

Most people on Plenty of Fish are as shy as baby deer, and anything will send them bolting away from you. If you want to pet Bambi, you must avoid making sudden movements or big gestures, and it is the same when emailing someone you find attractive online. A first email saying “I think you’re the one!” is going to scare people away, as is one asking “How do you feel about raising a family?” Keep humor to a minimum – they may not realize you are joking when you say “I’m typing this from my parents’ basement.” Basically don’t give them any reason to dash off before they have a chance to see how great you really are.

It doesn”t hurt to take a few minutes instead of a few seconds to put a well-thought out compelling message together. Take the time to write something special for the person who caught your eye. If you aren’t willing to make the effort to write something that is directed towards the person your trying to go on a date with, don’t expect them to take the time to write back much more than a “Good luck with your search.”

Finally, spell and grammar check! You never know who’s a spelling/grammar nazi out there.

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First I want to cover the ‘meet me‘ feature. Here you are presented with a persons profile picture and you have the option to say ‘yes, i would like to meet this person’, ‘maybe’, or ‘no, thank you’. From what I’ve encountered the first two, ‘yes and maybe’ are treated the exact same by Plenty of Fish.

Why the meet me feature? Well for a few reasons, first off it sends the user an e-mail saying that you want to meet them right away, whether they are online or not. Secondly, it is an extremely efficient way of going through multiple profiles in a short amount of time. If you happen to find someone attractive you can go directly to their profile from this page. If you have followed the past two previous posts and you want to see for yourself how powerful this overlooked tool is, go to the meet me section of Plenty of Fish and start clicking away. You will see an increase in inbound messages from the opposite sex almost right away.

Another trick, now that Plenty of Fish has decided to charge for their ‘premium service’. Is the functionality of their mobile app. which you can get the iPhone version or the Android version. These apps have a few things that are beneficial and the first is an exclusive to the app only ‘mobile users’ section. Here you can see how far or close other users are in comparison to you via GPS.

The other is the fact that you can still access the database of ‘who’s viewed me’ that is now a paid-for premium service on the website.

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Earlier I wrote a post on your profile picture. In this post I will show you what constitutes a creative, genuine approach to writing a singles profile for yourself that will stand out against the rest of the crowd and get you noticed in the online dating community.

Stay away from negativity.

This should be a given for any dating site, however I have seen this come up more than once. Doing things like listing what you’re not looking for or complaining about how women treat you online(even sarcastically) will put you in a negative light. Think about it this way, this is your chance to give women a first impression of yourself and if there is negativity in your profile they will want to avoid you.

Give them a reason to message you.

This is something I think is always looked over, especially when guys think that they are the ones that need to do all the initial messaging. It is possible to ‘break the ice’ on your dating profile.

An example of this would be:

If you want to be successful and not waste your time do this.

1. Talk about your hobbies.
being a dinosaur
super nintendo(really who doesnt like this?)
My work-it’s very interesting
counting grains of sand.
long walks on the beach.
longboarding
being social

2. Talk about your goals/aspirations.
Take on the full form of a velociraptor
Go on the oprah show.
Making everyone i meet a better person.
memorize pi to 138 digits
pet a grizzly on the head
stop my hello kitty fascination

3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique. 
I’m double jointed.
I can read minds
Rock, paper, scissors world champion(seriously)
I have big holes in my ears and im covered in pretty awesome artwork
From what I hear on the street I’m a pretty awesome guy to hang out with.
My apartment smells of rich mahogany.
I have many leather-bound books.
I still use a typewriter.
I’m pretty sure I could wrestle a small shark with out losing any appendages.
I stand out in a crowd even if I dont want to.

4. Your taste in music.
Yeah I totally like that too!

ALSO YOU ARENT ALLOWED TO CREEP WITHOUT SENDING ME A MESSAGE

This is meant to be a template, don’t use this word for word, however the amount of messages I receive on a daily basis has skyrocketed just because there is so much to message me with on my profile. If this isn’t your type of personality that’s fine, you can use real examples. I find, however, that conveying that you are fun and playful is extremely helpful in the scenario where you would like to receive the initial message from women.

Be congruent with your messages.

Whatever style you choose to write your profile, whether it be serious or fun/playful maintain that you are congruent in your messages. Consistency and congruence are key when sending messages and therefore your profile should reflect your individual personality and humour.

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The whole concepts behind your pictures on Plenty of Fish or any other dating website is to convey not only what you look like but also your personality. If you’ve ever heard the term ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’, this directly applies. What are some of those words you want to conjure up in someones mind when they look at your photo’s?

Avoid any pictures that are blurry or low resolution etc. If women can’t see what you look like clearly they will be more hesitant to message you and feel as if you are trying to be deceptive or hide something from them. Especially with your main profile picture, make sure it is very clear who you are. However, if this is all you have at the time being an unflattering picture is better than none at all. I would suggest you take more pictures of yourself if this is the case.

You want to be fun, charismatic, adventurous, artistic etc. This is going to SHOW that you have these qualities that women find attractive to them. Having good pictures of yourself smiling, having fun with others conveys that not only do you enjoy yourself but the people around you enjoy your company as well. Any exciting photo’s of you on trips or doing what most people find exciting is also going to convey to women what your strengths are and what makes you unique from everyone else.

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Vancouver’s population is roughly ~47% singles and only ~45% are men, the other ~55% are women. So why is it that men here have problems finding women to date in Vancouver?

One explanation could be the way they are approaching women here. My question to these guys would be this, what makes you stand out from the next guy? How are you conveying your confidence? Instead of thinking to yourself, ‘I have these possessions’ or ‘I make x amount of money’, think more along the lines of why should this woman invest time into me and want to date me for who I am as a person. I know it can come off as kind of hokey, however this is what women are looking for. Someone to make them forget about the world around them and be brought into your exciting, unique perspective of the world.

Another reoccurring theme i hear is that the women are just closed-off. I have seen a lot of guys go out and put their best foot forward just to be turned down or not even acknowledge their presence. This is something that is going to happen no matter where you are. The make or break point is how you deal with these types of situations and how you let them affect your behaviour towards women in general.

Or maybe they just aren’t putting themselves in the appropriate situations to meet these women. What do you do outside of your work and home environment? Are you putting yourself out there to actually meet people often or are you closing yourself off and hoping someone is out there trying to hunt you down? There are a multitude of different things you can do to put yourself in a more social atmosphere to attract and date women in Vancouver.

Some ideas include:

• The street- Robson, Granville etc. (My personal favorite)
• Any of our beautiful beaches
• The nightlife is extremely diverse (not only limited to nightclubs)
• There are a plethora of coffee shops
• Shopping districts
• etc.

Overall, dating and relationship behaviour is extremely complex and what may work to date women in one part of the world, doesn’t necessarily reflect womens’ behaviour here in Vancouver. What you should keep in mind if something isn’t working for you, you may need to analyze and reflect on why that is. It may help you find women who are attracted to you in Vancouver.

For those of you who haven’t been able to have any success feel free to contact us or look into our Approach Workshops that are held bi-weekly right here in Vancouver.

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•  Talking louder
•  Physical connection with others
•  Taking up space
•  Comfortable
•  Not over-reacting towards the actions of other people
•  Self-Amusement, etc.

Confidence isn’t being concerned regarding the consequences of one’s actions. While you’re“in the moment”, you aren’t contemplating how your actions are going to be taken. You’re just doing it. No matter what environment you’re within, you’re feeling that absolutely nothing negative can happen whenever you do something. Confidence isn’t an absence of weakness. It’s not worrying regarding your weakness. Whenever an unattractive guy seems confident, he doesn’t genuinely feel that he can win a beauty contest against Brad Pitt. He simply doesn’t believe his physical attractiveness impacts him within social circumstances. Confidence is simply being capable being oneself regardless of who you’re alongside. Confidence isn’t a particular style or identity, it’s to be able to exhibit your own personality as though it’s the best personality known to man. Regardless of whether you’re talking with a grandma,a young child, your manager at the office, a random stranger or even a beautiful woman, your personality always is developed. You don’t modify your personality according to who you’re talking to.

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A great way to do this is by practicing your social skills in general whenever and with whoever you can. Try holding conversations that are relevant or interesting to the people you are talking to and show them value by being interested in what is interesting to them. Interested is interesting-as the saying goes.

Social intuition has as much to do with talking as it does with listening, possibly even more so. Being an active listener shows value not only to them, but of yourself and keeps people wanting to continue conversation with you. One of the great ways of active listening would be to re-phrase something that was said and put into a new context. Even if you just grab a word or two that they was said and used it back in what you are talking about it creates a stronger sense of social intuition.

Remembering things that have been said and being able to bring them back into future conversation with that same person are great. Let’s take the most important thing that someone is going to tell you, their name. I have several ways of keeping track of and remembering this type of information.

Lets take a name that is common, for example, Sarah. It’s likely you know another Sarah, whether it be in real life or even through television or movies. So for Sarah take the first person that comes to mind.. Now imagine them together doing something they wouldn’t ordinarily be doing, make it something so bizarre and weird. Doing this makes it seem more vivid and therefore easier to remember. A good example of this would be both Sarah’s robbing a bank. This will give you a strong vision of them in your mind and you won’t even have to remember her name, just the scenario. Then you can say to yourself okay, I see the scenario and you will piece everything together and therefore remember the name, Sarah.

Another way I remember someone’s name, and this is beneficial if it’s not a common name, something like Kyra for example. It’s a name that you can’t really associate with something or someone else. What I do in this situation would be to visualize a bright colour or pattern and imagine writing their name out in front of you in that colour or pattern. Then when you look at them you will have the colour and muscle memory of their name.

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