A great way to do this is by practicing your social skills in general whenever and with whoever you can. Try holding conversations that are relevant or interesting to the people you are talking to and show them value by being interested in what is interesting to them. Interested is interesting-as the saying goes.

Social intuition has as much to do with talking as it does with listening, possibly even more so. Being an active listener shows value not only to them, but of yourself and keeps people wanting to continue conversation with you. One of the great ways of active listening would be to re-phrase something that was said and put into a new context. Even if you just grab a word or two that they was said and used it back in what you are talking about it creates a stronger sense of social intuition.

Remembering things that have been said and being able to bring them back into future conversation with that same person are great. Let’s take the most important thing that someone is going to tell you, their name. I have several ways of keeping track of and remembering this type of information.

Lets take a name that is common, for example, Sarah. It’s likely you know another Sarah, whether it be in real life or even through television or movies. So for Sarah take the first person that comes to mind.. Now imagine them together doing something they wouldn’t ordinarily be doing, make it something so bizarre and weird. Doing this makes it seem more vivid and therefore easier to remember. A good example of this would be both Sarah’s robbing a bank. This will give you a strong vision of them in your mind and you won’t even have to remember her name, just the scenario. Then you can say to yourself okay, I see the scenario and you will piece everything together and therefore remember the name, Sarah.

Another way I remember someone’s name, and this is beneficial if it’s not a common name, something like Kyra for example. It’s a name that you can’t really associate with something or someone else. What I do in this situation would be to visualize a bright colour or pattern and imagine writing their name out in front of you in that colour or pattern. Then when you look at them you will have the colour and muscle memory of their name.

YALETOWN BREWING COMPANY is one of our favorite watering holes, located right in the heart of the Yaletown District. With a restaurant on one side and a bar/pub atmosphere on the other you can’t go wrong! Open everyday during the week their Fridays and Saturdays are always a great spot to start the night out. A slightly older crowd (mid 20′s-30′s) with a cozy environment playing music from retro hits to top 40. Want to just relax and play some pool? they have that too. Most notoriously known for brewing their own beer (which is delicious I might add!) they also have a relatively hidden gem once a month on their first Thursday, Martini Night. Cover is Free all night every night. To make reservations on the restaurant side go HERE.

Situated on the corner of Granville Street and Nelson Street sits DOOLIN’S IRISH PUB. Situated right above The Cellar, features pub style food and atmosphere. With an age range from 20′s-30′s and access to The Cellar through the back this is an ideal place to start out your night or just relax. With a variety of music from live bands to single performers the environment is eclectic and upbeat. Most definitely a great place to check out if you are going to head to the Cellar anyway! Weekends can get pretty busy so treat yourself to their guestlist HERE.

CINEMA PUBLIC HOUSE is one of  the more unique venues, situated on one of the busiest corners on Granville Street. With good, modern pub food and is relatively busy on weekends. This smaller venue has a live DJ and is similar to some of the Gastown venues with more of a Granville Street twist. A jukebox, shuffleboard and pinball machines are also throughout the venue. It’s a mid twenties venue that plays a variety of popular music. To make Guestlist or Reservations go HERE.

One of the best sport’s bars in Vancouver, FORUM SPORTS BAR, always has a great crowd on any Canucks game day or UFC fight night. The layout of this particular venue allows it to also feature DJ’s or Band’s on certain days. Open everyday of the week, there is usually a pretty good following here. Located on the Granville Strip it is notoriously known for it’s Brazilian nights. You can sign up for the guestlist HERE.

In trendy Gastown, LAMPLIGHTER PUBLIC HOUSE is one of our favorites with a large venue they lend themselves to many types of music from DJ’s to live band’s. A younger, more hipster crowd tends to be the major demographic here (around early to mid 20′s). Open every night of the week, Fridays and Saturdays are always have lineups around the corner.  To make reservations or get yourself on the guestlist go HERE.

CHARLES BAR in Gastown, right under the Woodward’s Building is a smaller venue with a great selection of food and good beer specials. A great place to start off any night out in Gastown. With a crowd from mid-twenties to mid-thirties its a similar to a Yaletown venue with a hipster feel to it make it a great spot for anyone looking to get a small group of people to get together or even for an easy date. To make sure you have a spot, go to their reservations page, HERE.

Actually located in the large, downtown library is LIBRARY SQUARE. With a small dance floor and plenty of mingling room this makes for a great stop off leaving from Gastown on your way to Yaletown or even the Granville Strip. With pool tables up top there are places you can sit down and relax. The music is loud here so be prepared for that, but otherwise a great venue for starting out or even transitioning between locations. Age range here is in the mid-twenties. For guestlist go HERE.

On the Granville Strip, and named so, is GRANVILLE ROOM. The venue is small with a DJ setup in the front and a tiny ‘dancefloor’. The crowd here is generally in their twenties and pretty social. It’s a great place to start or even end the night, with their longer hours. It’s a classy atmosphere that lends itself a lot to that “Yaletown’ vibe. A great place for a lunch or dinner date as well. To make reservations go HERE.

One of Donnelly Group’s newest venues, THE NEW OXFORD is on the edge of Yaletown with a high end English tavern motif. The food and drink specials are what one would expect of an English pub. Recommended for a date night or for meeting up with friends prior to hitting up Yaletown. For reservations go HERE.

Coming soon to Gastown is THE PINT. Having recently taken over both Lick and Honey. This enormous bar is one we here at Rockstar Seduction are excited for! Lots of room and tonnes of seating, we have had a chance to take a first hand look of THE PINT coming together in some of its early stages. With two Large bars and a full-service kitchen this will most definitely be one of the places we will be frequenting the most. Also it doesn’t hurt that it’s directly above VINYL RETRO LOUNGE. You can find more information HERE.

I’d love to hear any other great spot that we haven’t checked out or heard of. Also any extra feedback on any of the places with your own experiences so people have an idea of what each place is about would be great

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Turns out women are more emotional driven then men, while men are more visual. Think about it this way; men see an attractive woman they want to get to know her more, where as if a woman feels good around a man, they are more likely to continue seeing them, then it’s all up to escalation from there.

This is something most men believe that is built into women’s selection choice’s for their potential mates. But it is only partially true! You should be in good health and have great hygiene anything beyond that really isn’t all that necessary. It’s all about the quality of your genetics and this is about where it stops directly for women to be attracted to you physically.

What I mean by good health is if you’re overweight start eating healthier and go to the gym, if you have a receding hairline, shave your head or do something with your hair so it isn’t as noticable, if you have acne, try a facial cleansing cream etc. There are a multitude of things that you can do to improve upon things that nature throws against you.

Overall though, looks don’t matter to women as much as you think they do. However, to yourself this has a great impact on your own self-confidence, how you carry yourself, and how you act and react to different situations.

Basically, it has nothing to do with how you look to other people, it’s how you feel you look to yourself. The better you think you look the more confidence and drive you will have. This directly relates to how you then make people feel around you and the decisions you make in your day to day life.

Think about how you feel when you get a new haircut or when you buy some new clothes that fit well and are your style exactly. How do you feel differently than on any other day?

This is why you should look and feel your best at all times. You never know who you will run into where and if you feel more confident about yourself then you are more likely to have an overall more positive experience.

After some practice and experience you will be able to turn these emotions on and off whenever  you want and it won’t be about a haircut or those new shoes, jeans etc.

All I ask is that you think of this reasoning the next time you don’t think you are attractive enough for ‘that girl’. It is all your own perception.

Day 1:

Ask a girl that you see anywhere (bus, sky train, coffee shop, etc.) for directions or the time (pretty straightforward and easy opener for those of you who are unfamiliar with meeting women during the day). Try for a goal of 5 women in 25 minutes (more so, if you are more experienced or feel you can push yourself more) during the day, the standards of girls which you talk to is completely up to you, this exercise is designed to get your comfort level up with approaching women during the day. Building on this, say 5 women in 5 minutes is a great way to push yourself even more.

Day 2:

Our day 2 challenge is not only open at minimum 5 women during the day, but also to make them smile or laugh within 2 minutes of talking to you. The reason behind this  is to anchor great emotions when people are around you and giving value. This creates more comfort with those people that you are around. Think about it this way-women are more emotional thinking than men, so if you associate yourself with a good emotion (being able to make them smile, laugh) then they are more likely to be comfortable and want to spend more time talking with you. If you’re having problems getting them to smile in those first couple minutes continue opening until you are able to achieve this. For some, this will come quickly. For others, however, this challenge may take more time.

Day 3:

Take a deep breath! It’s almost over and this is your last day. Since the first day of this challenge you have talk to anywhere from 10 to 15 girls whom you would have normally never interact with. Now give yourself a nice pat on the back and prepare for your third day that is going to be the hardest. On this day since you have already gotten names, now it’s time for the next level of escalation and get them to go on a mini date with you. Whether it’s to go grab a bite to eat or just something as simple as a coffee or going for a walk. Once you’ve completed this, not only have you managed to meet new women and learnt how to anchor emotions with them, you have also even managed to go on an introductory mini-date.

Once again, let us know how it went down below in the comments (make sure to leave your e-mail address) for your chance to win an Approach Workshop from Rockstar Seduction!

The difference between day game and night game approaching is literally night and day. At night girls are dressed up, ready to party and meet people. With this though, they have created many more filters for guys to pass through so they can adhere to their own personal standards. Guys are approaching them one after another all night long. Just imagine being a girl at a nightclub for a minute and think of how many guys would come up and say “hey, how’s your night going” or “Hi, my name is _________, what’s your name?”. I would conservatively guess around 10-15 an hour if not higher.

Now during the day girls are walking their dogs, running errands, going to work, coming home from work, going for coffee or going to the beach. Women are humans too and they tend to do pretty normal things during the day. Now imagine being a girl walking her dog and think about how many guys would approach her? Next to none. Your odds of creating a stronger connection are a lot higher during the day than at night for this simple reason alone.

Another large difference between night and day game is how often you can create a more meaningful relationship. Generally you can create a more organic connection from an approach in the daytime than you could at night. You have more time to create that connection, share values and opinions. This connection can lead to friendship, dating or other possibilities. Where as in the nighttime, you could randomly get yourself into a situation with a one-night stand where she just looked good at that moment but you aren’t that into her. That’s not to say that you can’t create dynamic relationships from meeting someone at night either, but that it is just much easier to achieve that during the day.

Social skills aren’t something you are born with, they are a learned behavior which allows people to interact with each other in our real world environment. From the day you were born you have been watching and learning without really being aware of it.  Most people wouldn’t think that social skills are something you would need to consciously actively work on, therefore the lack of practice exercising those fundamentals are lost. This is the basis of most of our struggles within today’s men. These social skills include things such as Humor, Conversation, Body language and emotional undertone are all skills that should be practiced and advanced on everyday with every interaction.

BENEFITS OF BUILDING SOCIAL SKILLS

Having increased development in social skills can help people in every facet of their lives from personal romance, to career and work, or with just making friends. However, what most people don’t realize is how much of an impact with having the proper understanding of social skills and social interaction can affect their everyday lives. Any interactions with co-workers, bosses, girlfriends and strangers, are derived from social skills which you have been pre-programmed for, and have been developing since birth. So if you actually go back to think about each one of these small interactions, noticed and understood everything you were doing with your body to convey how you felt or what you wanted do, would you think it would benefit your life now or future dealings with others?

SOCIAL SKILLS TO BUILD ON

We all love to laugh. Humor, is a skill that is often ignored or is not often used enough on a regular basis, during day to day interactions; I mean there are people that make millions of dollars touring around comedy shows making people laugh, and people love going to watch these strangers to be entertained, but in everyday dealings with people you meet it’s not generally practiced or exercised.

So how would having a better sense of humor affect your everyday life?

I’m going to give you a little bit of a break down highlighting a few of many positive effects it could have on your life. When you make people laugh they generally smile which creates a very positive, less serious and happy atmosphere. In turn it leads to a more relaxed or exciting, positive experience whether you are on a date, or at home or around your work environment. It’s hard not to have a good time after a few tears from laughter. Laughter lightens up any negative situation, and really good chuckle can make the difference between a bad day and a good one. It also makes you feel better knowing that you made someone else laugh, so share it with everyone.

Another social skill that everyone should touch up on is Functional conversation. It is used to convey information in order to help achieve an individual or group goal, but most of the time its none goal oriented or just for fun. Even when it just for fun, Social conversation with men are still lacking. Just think of how many times you have heard someone say “I just didn’t know what to say” or “I ran out of things to talk about”. This is something that occurs with most guys, more so when talking to someone of the opposite sex.  When you are out on a date with a woman, conversation is the make or break point to whether she will be interested in you or not. You have to keep it interesting and find exciting and intriguing topics to chat about. But for starters, you could try out some basic conversations, like talking about her past (examples: where she is from, how her last weekend, family was, etc.), present (examples: what she did earlier in the day, where she works, does she go to school, etc.), future examples: any big trips, is she going back to school, etc. and environmental conversation pieces (examples: anything interesting about the venue, has she been there before, is there a show, etc.). Just remember, no matter the topic just keep her engaged and interested!

Most importantly, good social skills involve proper body language, which is the mental and physical ability of non-verbal communication. It consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. We send and interpret such signals almost entirely through our subconscious. Using body language correctly to get a message across is something everyone does knowingly or unknowingly, and sometimes gets misinterpreted by others. We all have tried practicing a certain pose, doing facial expressions in the mirror while we stare at ourselves, and all sorts of crazy gestures. But by doing so, it allows us to see what others see when we do them. Learning how to use our body language is one of the biggest advantages you can have for getting the point across, as it offers you to display your confidence when conversing, approaching or closing. Some bad habits to watch out for are the actions you do with your hands. Try standing completely still and relaxed for a full 5 minutes while watching yourself in the mirror. Try to notice every small movement that you make, then make a mental note of what you did. Every time you do this exercise, it trains you to be aware of the actions you do and you more likely will notice everything that your body language tells you when socializing with others.

with only a few factors discussed for having good social skills, I truly believe that this should be focused on in schools, to develop everyone of all ages, throughout all stages of growing up. It is just as important as courses teaching  us basic math or English as the foundation for academic success in life. Helping people Build these foundations for their personal success in life, is the very reason why companies like this one, Rockstar Seduction, exist today.

The first big mistake is that many people believe it to be based solely on image. Not to say image is not important but guess what, image gets you exactly that – A person who has zero character. It is important to not let yourself forget that you are much more than that. Yes sure, it is great to be confident but don’t let it cloud your judgment. When a person becomes confident with ones-self, he/she has a possibility to develop arrogance. Don’t let it go to your head people! Now don’t get me wrong, it’s always important to be a confident individual. Sadly it’s a double-edged sword and you will see that most people in your daily life tend to let it get the best of them.

Now as the dictionary states, there are the key words that one should pay attention to – judgment, ability and power. I’d like to touch on these 3 big portions before I continue. Again I will use definitions to help elaborate more on the key ingredients that help make up a self-confident individual.
Judgment: The ability to judge or make a decision, and form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action. This is the image portion of it all.

People tend to forget the word “wise”. Now from experience, I’m sure each and every one of us has had a moment where we have judged an individual as of first glance. Now it may be the spark towards a successful night/future, but it’s most definitely not the whole cake. A judgment on ones features is a touchy subject and it needs the proper attention and approach – this is where the “wise” feature comes into play. It’s one thing to compliment an individual but you have to remember, telling a person he/she is beautiful or gorgeous is great but if you are going to approach with a comment you might as well stand strong with the other hundreds of troops. Chances are if you’re telling them this, they’ve heard it many times before and guess what – you just lost your chance. Don’t be like everyone else! It can be very easy to understand but it’s the follow-through that gets best of us.

Ability: The power or capacity to do or act physically, mentally, legally, morally, financially, etc.

After judgment comes the ability to follow through. I personally believe this to be the deal-breaker for most individuals. Ability is used to act upon after judgment and it’s a crucial tool in the dating scene. Ability is what defines you as an individual, it can make you look like a complete goof or you could be the most charismatic person in one’s eyes – With every action there’s a reaction. When well thought out you can change the way you look at dating and life as a whole. We use our abilities daily to reach our goals and attempt to prosper in almost all means of life – this is truly limitless. Use this to create substance in what you would like to say to an individual. It takes time and thought to have a solid plan and the utmost determination to fully follow through with your approach.
Power: The ability to do or act; the possession of control or command over others.

Power as it is can be nothing short of dangerous – “With great power, comes great responsibility.” Power in one’s self is very different from power as a whole. Power is what enables you to do the things you never thought you could. It can also cause major conflict around others which is why it becomes so delicate. When approaching a date/prospect power brings together the defined group and unites them as a whole. The power in a person with regards to self-confidence is without a doubt the “self” portion of the word. Once you have been able to use proper judgment and elaborate on a unique plan you will find that power becomes the role of being forceful to get what you want. Now if you followed the first steps, being forceful is completely possible and absolutely necessary. At this point it’s what you will need to do if you want to “be the man.” Sounds funny I know, but it brings you above the level in which others attempting may be at. Power is what will make you stand out above the rest.

So with that said – What is self-confidence and how can it make or break you?
Self-confidence is a variation of use of proper judgment, ability in one’s self, and of course the power that will bring you to seal the deal. Image is a personal preference; it has no place in a confident individuals mind. Everyone’s attractive to some extent, whether it is your look or your intelligence. It is your ability; judgment; and power that will make you stand apart from the others in everyday events. Self-confidence is how the body trains the mind to show your true character to others around you. When you begin to understand the structure of self-confidence, you will then understand that it will never break you – It will only make you a stronger, more motivated individual that possess the ability to always MAKE and never BREAK.

Writing down your goals, ideas, things you want to remember etc. happens to be one of the best ways you can retain the information and remember it. Most especially if you have trouble with long-term or foggy memory it can have a lot of positive effects on the way you can retain the information. Writing things down has a similar effect on our short and long term memory as it uses something called ‘muscle memory’ as well, which is just the act of the writing alone. One thing a lot of very successful self improvement writers – Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar and so on – go on and on about is the importance of having written goals. One of the main reasons behind this has a lot to with focusing, clarity and muscles. I realize most people don’t actually make the physical connection between writing and your memory, unless you work out you have probably never heard of muscle memory retention. This is when your brain sends a chemical signal from your muscles to your brain. If you do something over and over again with your brain you tend to retain that information much easier. In short, it means you’re brain will remember what you wrote down faster and for a greater amount of time.

Another reason would be the visualizations of your thoughts and ideas. Men in general are more of a visual learner type so when you can see what you want to learn staring back at you instead of just an idea it helps make it more concrete in your mind. One of the greatest things you can do to remember someone’s name, for example, is by associating their name with a colour and pretending to write it out in front of you. It gives you the visual reference of the colour association as well as the memory retention of why you associate that colour in the first place.

The main reason why I am in the position I am today is because of my writing things down for my own reference and analyzing. It has made the difference in what I believe were (at the time) subtle things I was making mistakes with. Whether it be body language or tonality. The best part about writing things down however s the fact that it helps with more than just your progress within this small facet of your life, but that it helps in all aspects with everything you want to remember.

The most important thing you can do is have the right tools with you all the time. I don’t expect everyone to bring around a notebook and pen with them wherever they go, however it is crucial that you write things down as soon as you think of them or at least as soon as possible to help retain all of the information. One of the great things about our technology today is the vast implementations of our ‘smartphones’. You can use these to take voice notes or even use note taking programs on them. If you do use the voice recorder, I would still recommend writing everything down while listening to it later on.

Making this a habit could take a few days or a few weeks depending on how often you choose to write down information. There are a lot of little things you could try to start implementing into your life to create a habit. Writing down your daily goals, shopping lists, taking inventory of when you last vacuumed you’re house, etc. The more you remind yourself to write things down the quicker it will become habit and seem less like a chore and more of something you will be looking forward to.

When putting stuff down on paper try and be as thorough and concise with the information as you can. In the end it will only make you remember it that much better! Good luck and it’s never too late to start.

What better way to start off the new year than to introduce Rockstar Seductions’ 3-Day Mini Challenge. Basically what we are going to do is present a challenge on here ranging in difficulty for you guys to try out and test for yourselves! Basically remind yourself to do the challenge as often as possible within 3 days (or longer, 12 days until it becomes habit-more on that in a future post). In these challenges we will be focusing on some of the fundamentals that are important not just with women, but with being an outgoing, social person in general.

The first challenge: Maintaining Eye Contact.

That’s it. It’s as easy as it sounds, yet some people have the hardest time actually implementing it. Looking at the ground or around them when conversing with someone show’s either a lack of interest or a lack of confidence. Neither is a good thing. You don’t even need to be talking to someone, but as soon as someone looks your way look back (don’t forget to smile!) and hold eye contact and see who breaks contact first.
I believe this will push some people out of their own comfort zones as it’s something some people may not be used to. So go ahead, give it a try and let me know how things worked out for ya! I can tell you from personal experience that it’s a lot like approach anxiety and you will get a rush from this also known as butterflies.  You may also find that women will start approaching you more often than before. Just remember the better mood you are in while you are doing this the better your results will be.who breaks it first.

Good luck and remember to post what your results were!

To put it eloquently, guys are thinking (about ‘game’) far too much and becoming too analytical. Instead of just allowing themselves to be social they have this mess of ideas and theories streaming in the back of their heads. Instead of actually testing these ideas they just gather as much knowledge as possible and then wonder why they just can’t do it when they get to actually putting it into practice. What they should do next, how their body language is, how to impress someone with some fabricated story or over-dramatization of what they are. It is completely unnecessary.

Granted, there are a lot of guys out there that can benefit from a bit of theory, but that’s all you need. You don’t need pre-fabricated stories or magic tricks or any of that bullshit to create connections with beautiful women.

Not to sound too cliché, but your own worst enemy is yourself when it comes to this stuff. You’re the one talking yourself out of these situations (approach anxiety) or putting so much value on a person that you feel incompetent (pedestals) and it makes sense that you get analytical about yourself to try and make yourself better. However if I was to ask you how much theory you knew compared to how much actual in-field socializing you do, how would it compare? Would you say it’s an even distribution or is it heavily favored the theory and knowledge aspect?

A lot of guys have it backward; you should be doing the in-field first and then the theory. It’s easier to understand and not every method is going to work for every person. Yes, there are the underlying basic theories and ideas that are undoubtedly helpful. My favorite is the three second rule; mostly because it’s so simple and really that’s all you need. The more you do it the more you will be comfortable with it, just like anything else. The best part of it is you barely have to think about it. You don’t worry about openers or whatever story you’re trying to get them interested in you with. Go from there, master that ONE skill and the rest will follow in a naturally progressive way. The hard part is convincing or pushing yourself to do actually get out there and do it.

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re going out there and actually trying to put these social ideas to use and analyzing those after the fact that’s great. However, I’m talking about the guys who try to absorb every last drop of information hoping they can fall back on it at the end of the day. Instead, what happens is their mind becomes a mess of things when they actually go out in the field to try and put this stuff to use. They are thinking too much about the dynamics of the interaction instead of the interaction itself.

I recently had a long drawn out conversation of what makes a natural. He thought that if he knew what a natural was that he would become better at socializing in general if he could break down what the difference of a natural and someone who studies this to get better was. We discussed everything from age range to the environment that people are brought up in. It was a great, compelling conversation that made me think about the way a lot of new guys perceive things. It wasn’t until the end of the conversation though, that he had revealed that he wanted to use this knowledge to analyze and distinguish the differences between a natural and himself. To what I responded, ‘do you think that the difference of a natural and someone who has been studying this will help you reach your goal of being more successful with women?’

TL;DR – Simplify your knowledge and start actually getting out there. Don’t worry about what you have to say or do to impress someone. I know it sounds vague and it should be it’s really that easy. I want to hear your guys’ thoughts on this…

‘We think too much and feel too little…’-Charlie Chaplin